This is what I look like on Sunday morning before I have to play the piano for church. No kidding. Today, I wish I had some Pepto Bismal with me, because I had to run to the bathroom during the talks because of the stress-induced cramping. I was fine, once it was all over. Today the opening song was, "Come listen to a Prophet's voice". I didn't know how fast I played it until Alan mentioned that the chorister's hands turned into a fan while I was playing. He only mentioned that so that I would remember to slow down on the rest of the songs.

During the Sacrament, I had to keep playing because they still hadn't finished breaking up the bread. How horrible is that??? Who wants to play a solo impromptu? I had to play the hymn about 4 times over until they finished. My fingers were slipping on the keys, and I could feel myself breathing really hard. With that being said, I know that this calling is "good" for me. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm changing. I've got a new-found respect for every ward pianist in the church. I haven't even figured out how in the world I'm going to learn the organ. I just need to get through playing the piano. Learning the organ seems just about as possible as if I decided to go and run a marathon next week.

This past year I have experienced some concentrated lessons in faith, overcoming fear and allowing myself to change. At this point, I feel like I have failed miserably at this. I guess that's why the Lord keeps giving me opportunities to grow in these areas. The longer I resist, the longer and more painful the process will be. Somehow, I have to figure out a way to move from dread to anticipation. From hate to love. From fear to courage.

Logan in his snuggli

So out of all of the kids, Logan is the one that has loved the snuggli the most. As soon as we put him in it, he is out in about 5 minutes!

April 7th, 2008

I was looking through my photos and came across these from April. April 7th, 2007 is such a significant day in our family. It was the day that we lost our stillborn daughter, Sarah Faith. Three months later we were very surprised to be pregnant with the expected due date of April 7th , 2008.

In memory of Sarah, our family gathered around the garden that we planted for her (this was early spring, so we hadn't had the chance to spruce it up yet). We had a little memorial service and then released the balloons, just as we did for her memorial service last year. We have learned and have grown so much this past year. We have often wondered what life would have been like if Sarah was with us now. We most likely would not have our little Logan with us now. Heavenly Father's plan is truly wonderous. We know that there is still many things that are yet to be understood. What we do know is that we miss her very much and look forward to the day that we can all be reunited again.

Okay, I just love this picture of Nathan. He just got a very much needed hair cut. As soon as he got home, he was in the bathroom taking pictures of himself with his new cut. He's all trying to look tough. Sooo cute.

The kids

I wanted to get some "loving" pictures of the kids, and this is what we came up with! These were taken the night before Nathan left for Scout camp. The last one cracks me up of Nathan. The whole thing was just so painful for him! : )

Just for the record, I'm new at this blogging thing, and I can't figure out why/how some of these pictures are placed the way they are...hopefully I will get the hang of it!

Mommy and Logan

Logan and Mommy. I have so few pictures of me with the kids when they were little. I decided I needed to make sure we had at least one with me and Logan together!

New Pictures of Logan

When Logan was about 6 weeks old, the hospital sent out a photographer to our home for a "free" sitting and 8x10. I was very skeptical of the whole process, and hardly made an effort when the photographer came. I doubted the pictures would turn out cute at all. Well, they did! I'm so happy with how they turned out. Here is a little sample.

Everyone loves taking their turns holding Logan.

The Family Blog

Well today is the beginning of our first Winn Family Blog. We have had an exciting year so far with the birth of our little boy, Logan Christian Winn. He was born on March 24th, 2008 at 6:31 p.m. He is such a joy to our family. We are so in love with this sweet baby, and feel so blessed that he is in our home.